How To Work With A Trauma Therapist?
My job is not just to list or catalog your symptoms and grab the DSM5 and diagnose you and treat your diagnosis.
My job is to find out what happened to you that caused these symptoms.
What’s the root cause of these symptoms?
We treat and heal the unresolved traumas that caused the symptoms that you are having.
I can give you tools to use for your symptoms (polyvagal theory, CBT, mindfulness, etc).
It’s not the answer to everything though.
It doesn’t solve everything too.
It is not a magic potion.
My priority is to give you that unconditional positive regard in our sessions.
Self healing is not a magic pill.
It is not a place.
It is not quick.
It is inner work.
And the brave is ready to do the work.
Deep work is slow, hard and worth it.
Just like everything else that you have accomplished in life…
They were a slow process, it takes some work but when you achieve it, it’s so worth it and you are proud of what you’ve done.
Healing is the same
I also cannot change other people for you.
You cannot change other people either.
We cannot control other people.
You are NOT responsible for other people’s happiness and growth (unless they’re a kid).
That’s their responsibility.
You are responsible for your own growth, healing and happiness.
You cannot expect other people to make you happy.
That’s not their responsibility either.
Their responsibility is their own growth, healing and happiness.
Your own growth, healing and happiness can be an example to your loved ones, let your actions be their inspiration for their own growth, healing and happiness.
But you gotta stop telling them what to do (unless they ask for your advice).
The hardest part about change is not making the same decisions or choices that you made the day before.
Your work with a trauma therapist is about reseting your nervous system.
The goal is to cultivate a healing state.
Having the tools to calm your maladaptive stress responses so that your body can have the capacity to heal and your mind can have the capacity to heal and be transformed.
The clients I have who felt transformed are the clients who put their FOCUS ON THEMSELVES.
They put their healing as their priority instead of:
- trying to change other people
- focusing on other people
- controlling other people
- trying to make other people happy
- blaming other people
These clients started acknowledging their needs, prioritizing themselves and practicing mindfulness so they can ground themselves and stay regulated.
The nature of trauma takes us out of the present moment and out of our bodies, that is why we feel disregulated when triggers happen or uncertain events come up or other people disappoint us.
Every emotion is attached to a need.
Get curious on what you need (not what other’s need).
You can live and enjoy life.
You don’t have to be in survival mode for the rest of your life.
Your feelings and emotions are products of your past experiences being triggered by present events and people.
You can learn healthy coping mechanisms.
People who has trauma loves helping other people because they’re scared of healing their own unresolved traumas (deflection and avoidance).
Healing is scary but freeing.