I recently had to say adios to one of my favorite clients. This client had to move to a different country for work. I saw this client went through the ups and downs of life in the months that we worked together. This experience I had with this client, of seeing this person during his struggles and his accomplishments, it was such a privilege to be a part of it all. Resiliency in humans is undeniable. And this individual is very resilient.
As a counselor, I always want the best for my clients. I don’t tell them what to do, but I ask them questions that only they will know the answers. Answers that they have in themselves. I always tell my clients that it is a collaboration between us to find the answers to their “why’s”. Thus the trauma therapy takes place. Our goal is not to dig up the past for the sake of proving something, but for us to understand the different “why’s” in our lives at this stage of turmoil or confusion. We are who we are because of what had happened to us in the past, once we understand “why” we are doing the same mistakes again and again, or dating the same types of people, being in the same predicament a lot, etc. etc. then we can make changes to improve our lives.
Since I started my own practice, I met more than a dozen individuals. Some I only met once, some I meet every week but every single one of them have touched my heart and they all have one thing in common, they are all resilient. Before I felt sad when a client never came back or told me that they cannot see me anymore because of different reasons. It was like he or she dumped me. I will go back and think about what I said that turned them away. But now, I’m more forgiving of myself. Either the client was not ready to go deeper into therapy, therapy is very new and foreign to them, money problems, we are not a good fit or whatever personal reasons they may have, I tell myself that it is not personal.
But this particular client of mine who left for a new job, actually said goodbye. Our parting had a closure, it was a chapter finished and closed. It was a good feeling to see my client thrive and do what he thinks is best for him. It was very exciting to see him go on to a new endeavor.
My heart is so full seeing someone so resilient. It gives me so much hope and trust in humanity. WE all have experienced adversities in life and everyone has a story of resilience. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been in life, you have withstood traumatic events and have shown resilience. In the end, the love and support we give each other brings hope and that helps us bounce back and become stronger than ever.