Controlling Your Thoughts

You can’t control your first thought.
But you can control your second thought.
Our thoughts come from our brains, while our feelings are from our bodies. Our bodies keep a score of our past. It reminds you that you felt this way before and it is a signal of protection. When we have a negative thought, it causes anxiety or sadness or anger or disgust or worries and we feel it in our bodies. We start to get a headache, neck pain, stomach pain, upset stomach, fast heart rate or palpitations, sweating, short of breath, etc.
Our thoughts (from the brain) cause our feelings (the body) and these produce an action. Whether that action is healthy or unhealthy, it is usually what is familiar to us. We get used to reacting the same way when we have a thought that caused a feeling, and the result we get is the same. Then we repeat the cycle while all we want is for the cycle to stop.
For example:
You had a misunderstanding with your significant other. Your thought is that he or she doesn’t love you anymore and will leave or cheat on you. This negative thought causes you to feel anxious. Then your heart starts racing and you start getting an upset stomach from your worries. This feeling causes you to act angry and say something hurtful to your significant other or causes you to drink (action) heavily. And then you recognize the pattern.
So what do you do?
You can’t control your first thought.
But you can control your second thought.
- When a negative thought occurs in a situation. Question the thought! “Is that true?”
- Change the thought. Your second thought is the truth. Your second thought is what you want. Your second thought is the truth. Your second thought is a positive possibility. Your second thought is the truth.
- Repeat your second thought (the truth).
- Find 3 positive things that you see at the moment.
- Be aware of how you feel when you think about the second thought (truth) and the 3 positive things at the moment.
- Acknowledge the action that your feeling is leading you to.
FOR EXAMPLE:
You go into a party and you thought, “everyone here is a phony. Nobody likes me.” Ask yourself, “Is that true?”
Change your thought into, “That’s not true. I was invited by a nice person at this party because they thought I was cool.”
Continue with the good thoughts, “There’s good food.” “I know that a person who is nice.” “I like the venue.” “I like the music”.
Notice your feelings changing after telling yourself the truth. You start to feel good. You start to feel confident. You start to have fun.
Acknowledge the actions that you want to do with this new positive feeling. You start to talk to people. You compliment others. You make new friends. You help others. You connect others or make connections.
See?
Your thoughts are powerful. Your mindset literally set the moment for you. Now go ahead and practice changing your second thought.